Friday, July 29, 2011

A Funny Thing called Ambition

I've been disconnected from the world for a while. Not carrying my phone, for a week, has shaken things up. Having recieved a nasty work email, somehow has got me running again, which coupled with my belly trying to express its passion these days, isnt keeping things too handsome. I'm having Jungle Boy returning to the City anxiety at the moment, which I'm sure will pass. I'm hesitating going back to the real world, away from this break from the world.

All of the above means, I've spent some time thinking, and sleeping a lot. I'm going to have a nasty Sleep cycle change when I get back to Dubai. I am, however, as we speak trying to get back on track with work - at least partially. I cant let the bar drop now, after all the i
nitial hard work, to be given some responsibility, I do not want them thinking, I'm not what th
ey're looking for. The funny thing about Ambition is, that you never realise 'How much there really is
'. I look around this city, and see a lot of opportunity - Everywhere, from Unfinished Construction Sites, And empty square of land, or just the intent I see in the eyes of its inhabitants. These people, will not be left behind.

At this point in time, I am half thinking I will take the plunge. Common sense, eventually prevails. Time will bring its own surprises. I'm making plans over plans, to achieve, what I think is what I want right now. The hope is, that there isnt someone up there laughing at me.

Ramadan is Approaching - I'm hoping for a revolution in my life. Lets see.

cheers

Ajwad

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Begining!

Ok, so I've arrived to Hyderabad, and its been nice so far. Shankar flew in from Coimbatore, and Rama apparently refused to get to Bangalore for a get together. Feels nice, getting in touch. We've all changed so much, yet it seems as though we are back in College, buffooning away, without a care in the world.

We're all rushing ahead in life, some obsessed, some not so much, but that spark that makes all of us click so much is still there.

I've not slept in about most of a day, but I dont think I'm tired. Maybe when I hit the bed, the dull pain in my back will put me to sleep.

Right now feels like my life has been put on pause, but I'm really not too excited to stay and play. Does time build hesitation on people, to let go. Maybe because right now takes me back to my parallel life, where I was someone else. Or was I.

One thing: Never Enjoyed Running so much!

Cheers,

Ajwad

Sunday, July 03, 2011

With a Promise

To update this Page more often.

Judging by the amount of dust I've had to blow off it - I think I've been missed - NOT!

How goes life?

cheers,

AJ

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Make my day A**hole!

When was the last time you looked in the mirror?I did… today morning… and I had an ugly person stare back at me.

For all the sceptics, you probably are the person that you hate the most, mainly because you fail to live up to you stupid fucking standards that you set for yourself.I envy the people who are ab-FUCKING-sorbed in self love. Good for all of youI want to be like them;I'm a decent actor;BUT: What the fuck do you do to fool yourself?Sometimes I wish I was an idiot… living like… bloody everyone else! The cruel man up there just had to give me a brain to think with… much like a pocket comb to break out of a prison cell. What am I supposed to do with it? Think? And ?

Maybe, I'm kinda spineless. But they programmed me that way… in conformance to standards. Everything is the same. Like an assembly line of idiots manufactured by the thousands every day, complete with significant brain shrinkage, with all the ultrasounds, and the sonograms, and the MRI's and the WTF's that they subject to unhealthy half babies, breeding in unhealthy mothers, fathered by a man who wheezes through a roll in the sack, and he was probably born to parents who were hippies, and advocated free love. Did you know that today, Autism is like the fucking common cold… We're all the same - morons, with primitive intelligence, like I said, in conformance to standards. I'm surprised we all dont speak the same language yet… Wait, we do, dont we? Hld dat tht 4 a sec, brb…

The fact of the matter is, we like subjugation, we like being opressed, and we like being humiliated, which kinda leaves us to be what we are, a frustrated planet. For example, Some of us tie our partners, and thats just payback for what life does to us: tie us up and engage in rough anal play.What I'm really saying is: Can we change? Can we really make a difference? Or is the smoke going to settle one day, and we're gone, and the only phrase fitting our epitaph is "Also lived: Some dude who died"?I guess…

The only thing that i need to add to this is: "is this the world we want to bring up our children in?". There: maybe some minor editing and I'm good to run for President! Maybe I'll get a nobel prize for scratching my secret service protected balls, and watching the world go to shit.

More later, taking a leak has high priority right now.

Adios,

Aj

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Waiting...

Change?Not the pocket kind...
Well, Whose Pocket has my life?
Or is my change generic?
Part of many? In a bowl?
Changing hands over trivial things,Parking Tickets, Aspirin and Smokes?

Waking up; its Winter.
Washing, Grooming;
Moving gears;
In a Giant Machine?
Do I know me at all?
Waiting for the end,
The 25th;
End of the Month;
Waiting, To begin Again;
For the Ritual,
Of being Broke Again...

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Do you ever?

Do you ever think of us,Old, pushing 60, grey haired,Fighting for the paper, sharing spectacles,Bickering over the toilet seat,Or the blanket hogging, when you're cold?

Do you ever imagine us,Beaten, tired, grandparents,Telling the kids you should have married,That kid next door, who ended up rich?And that 'i don't know what I was thinking when I siad yes'

Do you ever see us,Brittle, diabetic, sick in so many ways,
Rembering that I take my pills after breakfast and you after supper?
Panicking when Im short of breath, me, when you complain of pain in your chest?

Telling each other 'you're not going anywhere wihout me'?
And leaving this world to be with you, because I told you to wait, that I'd be there, because I'm just jealous you'll find someone else in the meantime?

Do you ever?
Because I do, and I want it no other way…

Because I love you… old, brittle, tired, maybe… but still mine, and me?
All yours, till I breathe my last

Ajwad

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

SunBlasters - Its only words that I have

Since I've exhausted all my money... words are all I have to live with. Of course I can't eat them (Hopefully I'll get to that point some day). Over the course of my short life, I've always had this recurring idea. I wanted to make my masterpiece. Something that I could leave behind after I died, but of course, when I thought about it when I was seven, I just wanted to be cool. I have been, unsuccessfully, for the past 22 years of existence, trying to write a book. And its not like I havent tried; Case in point:


The Summer of '99:

We were kids, and didnt particularly like class, so 5 of us decided to do something fun. We were playing Pen-Fight (Its cooler to play, than it sounds) in the lsat bench, when I told Wasi, Abishek and Aswin (My friends from school), that one day the sun is going to become huge and swallow up the earth (I read an article about Red Giants the previous Day). Me and aswin were fond of The hardy Boys and the 3 Investigators, and such novels that starred High School kids. We lived and breathed Frank and Joe Hardy. Suddenly I had a brainwave. We will write a book. A book about 5 (Started with 3 kids, but soon, Muneem and Ranjith joined in) Adventurers, that survive the odds, and stop the sun, before all of mankind was doomed. We called ourselves, The SuN BlAsterS.

We quickly decided on what our roles would be:

Wasi : The strong man - tough on space aliens, with a heart of gold

Aswin and Me: The Brains of the team, extremely Agile - We also got the girls ( Ok so I short changed them : But you know what : "Mera Bat, to meri Batting")

Abishek and Muneem: The Logistical Support; The pilots of our Space Ship (the SB III) and rad riders of the space bikes(Sparrow and Sidewinder).

Ranjith: The most secret secretive spy that we had. Under Cover, silent, stealth operative, who operated in shadowy invisibility.


So the next semester, all we did was occupy the last 2 benches, and think about the plot. Aswin was incharge of writing, I was incharge of ideas, and making the story sound cooler, and do justice to every one's role in SB (ehehehehe!!!). A month passed. We had battled a fleet of mutants on earth, and were currently near asteroid JX-7. The plan was to attach rockets to it, and push it towards the sun, to buy us more time, and maybe attach a nuclear payload to it, to, err, well... Blast the sun (Hey! we had to live the name). Thanks to the meddling of Muneem and Aswin, a 6th person had to join the little team tht I was so protective of. Brian Lara. I said: Brian LARA....? WTF? What? How? But the words had been penned down, and I was the one who said, that which is once written, may not be altered. Any way: So we were on our way to the sun; to blast it.


Word began spreading about our epic adventure. The SB became celibrity in class. People thought we were cool, in actually writing a story about ourselves, and having cool names such as Leutinant Ajwad, and Flight Commander Abishek.

Ranjith was approached by Deepak for their Entry into SB, which was categorically rejected by me. But Wasi... Wasi was angry as hell. Ranjith had broken into and shattered some of the sanctity, and reverence that had once been associated with SB, by even considering a 6th member: As if Brian Lara was'nt enough, I said. A fight ensued between Ranjith and Wasi... and Ranjith was out. It was a shock for all of us. SB could not continue without him. He was part of the original 5. I was broken. My dream, shattered. I felt a weight in the pit of my stomach. That thursday, I bid SB farewell, and so was born, eventually : tHe 4 cLaWs.


The 4 claws did'nt really work out. Spinoffs generally dont. But I had a greater tryst with writing about a year later: Me and Aswin became the 3 I investigators :). Thats a story I shall tell later.


Till we meet again: Laterz and Aadaab


Aj