InduStRYal InSTruMentation.... aw HeCk.... the NX6125!!! YEhehEAsssS

I havent done a word... not a word; I guess I'm just too relaxed. Its the last paper for this semester. I'm happy. Its been two years in this god forsaken place, and its really hard to imagine how I survived here for so long. I'm surprised at myself... Half way through. All I can think about is home now. Want to get back... and get back quick... sleep a lot and eat 'normal' food. I think this place pressures you enough to start appreciating 'normalness'... which is a good thing. I'm pretty sure I havent studied anything of significance in the past two years that I've spent here... but you definetely learn life and understand people better. I think its just about living with so many different people that does the trick. At some point you are able to predict... which could be dangerous sometimes, if your'e getting carried away by it, but its a nice trick to have up your sleeve... this mental edge... this look you give people that says... "I know what you thinkin..."

I dont want to study... its an easy paper... but then again... if I dont prepare at all... theres no difference how easy the subject is. Just stopped thinking about it now... 'blank'....'blank'.... Ahmer just told me about the NX6125... They're getting it fer me as I write... The amd64 powered machine... its gonna burn baby... quite literally... supposedly you cant use this machine for long hours because it heats up... but then again... I'm so not going to miss out on the kick ass processor... its 64b fer gawds sake!!! My other choice is the Acer travelmate 4400 series... dont know which is better... heck, I dont care... Im finally going to be on a machine of my OWN!!!! Hmm... now that was satisfying... Now the underlying truth of it all... I'm really bored... Just wanted to express it in words.... ladEr den...

Aj

Subtle DisturbanCes - Ch. 01

"It wasn't raining that day,
The sun was strutting its stuff;
And just before it lost again,
It dramatised its might, still,
In plan of tomorrow."

While the usual clockwork of the entire universe, intensly manhandled as may be, was repeating itself somewhere in the time frame of the winter of 2004, I was sitting back in the iway... I was music starved. It was when we had nothing but AIR(Yes... that is All India Radio) FM Rainbow to keep us content. The power of the information superhighway... Voila! I was already thinking about home... checking out a lot of junk on the internet and chatting with random people. I noticed a very cranky nickname... .I'd heard this chicks name... Hell... we had a history... she had once tried to get me beat up...:P... I said 'Hi'...


She called up again today... She can be really stupid sometimes. And she realises it... I know it... I know it... but she would never tell me she was wrong... it's not about pride... its about who got to kick whose ass... She never gives up on a fight... But she's cute... after all these days, she's still stuck with me... that shows ya something. She fights the life out of herself and asks me to hold on to the phone while she goes to sleep. Cute. I'm trying hard to wipe this stupid smile off my face. She's really dismissive of me... just on the outside... its something she picked up from the very first conversations we had.


'I'm too bored....', she declared, 'and its cheaper to call you than call lovergirl...', and I was thinking... lovergirl... thats what you call a friend... a best friend... I was thinking a lot more than friendship and healthy relationships, and it was pretty funny, untill she came out with her novel plan of turning lesbian. Turning lesbian? Now I've seen it all. Its like this woman hated men so much, she just decided to hook up with a woman who looked like one (No... really... Natzi u lUk hot). So I'm happy... and I'm thinking... Hey... if she's calling me and not her best friend... I got a fighting chance.....


We keep fighting.... trust me... we fight over anything and everything humans ever made a word for... We had those cartoon fights... Most of them had an elaborate script which ended with the following exhange of dialogue:
"Did too..."
"Did not..."
"Yes you did..."
"No I didn't..."
"Yes..."
"No..."
It never stopped there, we both tried forward, reverse and every other psychology possible to get the other to accept defeat, and I in vain... most of the time, had to... not because I had well and truly been beaten... No!, it was much simpler... It was sexier if she won, she definitely came out cuter... and more desirable... I let her have her way... pin me against the wall... and make me pay for my mistakes. It was'nt amazing... but it was with its perks... everytime I lost my temper... she never said a word... My point got accross when it had to... well, not exactly when it had to... but definetely I had enough of something... We did'nt exactly balance each other... we cancelled each other out... Two negatives make a positive...?....

ConfuSion: Too mAny Nerve ImpulSes raCing thrOUgh my Head....!!!

"Now I'm thinking, who has a bigger ego, than to market their blog so obnoxiously... than me. No... really... I have nothing to write about... See, im trying this new experiment wherein I write some nonsense, and see what comes out. Im not thinking.... its pretty strange, writing this continous strain of thought im trying to interpret. Come to think of it, I'm having to concentrate pretty hard... wierd this, thinking about nothing, because, see the thing is.. when im trying to focus on what I'm thinking... I'm really not thinking, am I? Having completed that one sentence, Im think im producing some utter nonsense... garbage even... but if I say so myself, it tends to work in some odd way... coherence being beaten into my work... Im just trying to make some sense through it... somehow..."

The minds enless capabilities to come out with collosal amounts of nonsense, is constantly fuelled by this constant state of information overload, as a result of being connected. My take on it: Sometimes it gets so annoying, you want to get away from it all... from the noise they call life. I'm thinking in so many directions, I dont know what i'm thinking. Bottomline: Sometimes I like the volume down... wayyy down. When was the last time your silence was'nt perverted by the sound of someone in a hurry to go to work, or a car speeding by? How many morning have been made gaudy by the still on street lamps? How far is the traffic signal from your house? When was the last time you ever had a walk.... just a walk? When was the last time life was simple?

Today is complicated... there are too many rules... there are too many confines, a lot to learn but little to think. Subject yourself, or stop existing, not much choice be that. But I'm learning to live... I can already handle the not thinking part... I've started to be... just be. Maybe this is just me trying to escape... a subtle attempt at coming to terms with an issue, or maybe Im just tired and need a break... I'm not sure though... its getting all too suspicious to shrug off... I think every once in a while... we all need a dreamless sleep. Helps the brain switch off... Yes... I like listening to the silence... thats me...

Ajwad

The requested URL could not be retrieved: Live FroM the BattLefroNt - II

I can't believe this is happening to me. The Signals syllabus is almost unreadable... how do you read numbers? The server holding a more readable version of the syllabus is down. Its not just another copy of the curricullum... its the holy grail of Signals and systems... its supposed to be the sheet of paper I need to have in my hand, if I'm supposed to get the damn BIC405 out of the way... But right now, it looks like its not to be... Slowly, but surely, I'm losing interest... random web pages... no signals... no signals... wtf??? So I'm now tired of looking. Plan B: Wait for a geek to get the copy, and XEROX baby... I'm thinking how I did'nt think of it before. So with that out of the way ... I think I'll waste a little more time... dance to another song, until the rising sun takes away my music... another NiGhT_oUT; this one concept I swear by... it always works, and even if it does, everyone thinks you tried... so thats saving face for you... Another day .... "Shock & Awe" on the upswing... 6 days... 6 subjects... can you believe I'm still stuck with diodes??? Ima Diee....

Aj

Live frOm the BaTtleFroNT.....

Ok ... so heres the deal... According to mision plan, I have a possible of 14 hours of work everyday, if I can hope... just hope to clear all my exams without hoping the earth swallows me up, in which case, I'll be pretty sure im flunking in a few subjects. GoD foRbid.... The mess had some yellow stuff that they called "Khichdi"... trust me, it was a lame attempt at trying to confuse us into thinking... that the goo on out plates was actually edible; trust me... I even had a bite (actually... it was too soggy to bite, but I have to make do with my limited vocabulary)... I tried hard... but I couldnt, just couldnt gulp it down. I should have rushed my way to the snacky directly, like other, smartER people. So now, I was hungry, and the unit on diodes has about a hundred million more pages left... Im running out of time. Sometimes I wonder if I do it just because I like the pressure... knowing me, quite possibly. So now theres this "Shock and Awe" thing going on with 6 subjects, 7 days, and me... all out in the open. Bottomline: Im hungry, I havent done much, but I'm not giving up right yet.... Microelectronic Circuits... wTf??? I will SuRvive===>

SabBatiCal.....

The 15th of May ... (I dont know why I'm hung up with dates of late .... but yea.... the 15th of May), last year... I remember standing behind a dumpster, waiting for my bastard brother to get loose of his chemistry tuitions... it was supposed to be a surprise... I had landed that afternoon... after finishing a rather tiring Michael Crichton... Airframe, was it?... trust me the flight was that uninteresting... do I really need to tell anyone how 'sexy' the Indian Airlines 'babes' were? That night, as I gorged my way through a huge dinner mom conjured up, I subtracted one more day from my vacations.... a month flew by and my vacation was over .... and now a year. The next time I'm going to be home is drawing closer... its very close... im subtracting dates between then and now, and as I do that... I look back at the one year I've spent without the sound of random cars trying to speed their way through Ghusais... Watching the thursday movie... or just eating mum's Daal Chawal... I'm almost there... and I'm thinking... I must be fixated with subtraction..............

Aj

WaRsoNG..... ItS COmInnnnn.....

As I finally sit down with a certain sense of relief at the end of my pracs, I feel uneasy; the lull before the storm... the wait is getting longer and the hours, drawing closer. I was hoping somehow the 17th of April never comes and I never have to work on deadlines... life could still be sleeping late and eating seminormal meals... BUT NO!... every once in a while... just when you think everythings normal .... theres another April the 17th.... its gonna last a month ... but while it lasts ... its gonna be a real rough ride ... 'Im game... or am I?'... I shudder to think ....

Aj