Whose life is it anyway? - ParT II - It wasnt me...

TdaYs SonG: Sound of Muzak - Porcupine Tree

It was just like any normal evening... maybe too normal, because what followed didnt give me time to think, like, at all.

It was Shab - e -baraat. Its this religious occasion(I have no definite idea on this one... sorry) and I was in the mosque. We have no mosques in campus, so I was about a kilometre down the NH-67, in a place called Thuvakudi(Do not bother trying to understand... just think... some place near college.). So after about an hour of being holy(I can hear the smirks... will you stop :p), I stepped out of the mosque. I was feeling very compassionate somehow, that day, so I went to the STD booth(I know what that sounds like, but bear in mind, I was in the mosque a few minutes prior...), called up grandma, paid my respects, called up aunty ji here, and uncle ji here, and did the whole, nice boy thing for a while, and then bought myself a pack of smokes, and de Dew, and was chugging away... like I said, it was just like any normal evening...

I didnt notice the White Maruti as it parked right in front of the adjoining Kirana store. I also didnt notice who was driving. Maybe I should have. I should have, damn my self centred self, for not being aware enough to notice my Industrial Instrumentation Prof, with family, nonchalantly getting off to do his daily groceries.

I was more than cursing myself, for chosing this locality to pray at(How was I supposed to know that he's gonna have to shop today, now, and park his car right in front of my face), for smoking a cigarrette right on the street where Dr. Sahab comes to buy ginger-garlic paste, but you know what... I didnt even have time to think all these things at that time...

He was walking into the shop when he spotted me, and I had the half smoked cigarette in my left hand, which also clutched the green Dew bottle. He looked at my face, and kept walking into the shop... did he notice me? Didnt he? He should have; a person would have been blind not to...

As if on reflex, the cigarette dropped from my left hand. I walked into the store trying to act normal, still clutching the bottle. I bought myself chewing gum, paid the person... somehow trying to validate my presense in the area. I didnt want to look too guilty, by going up to him and telling him that I was in the mosque all this while. All the while, he seemed oblivious of my presence. It started, and ended in a flash; I finished up with my soft drink, and left to college, hoping, praying even that it was all ok, that he had not seen the cigarette in my hand... that somehow, the green soft drink bottle had done its job... distraction. Later I realised, it had done just that. And I, my friends, was in deep trouble. Very deep.

I dont own an alarm clock. My theory is, any alarm that can be switched off is useless. Anyway, I woke up at 9.15... just in time for the second lecture. I pulled on whatever clothing that I had scattered and ran to department. I saw the first lecturer making his way out of class, and confident that I was early enough on my next class I walked in...

I saw Dr. Sahab(If you're wondering why Im calling him that, please take note... this thing is on the internet... no names...) standing right in front of my class. I had no problem with that. His eyes met mine. With a very stubborn lump in my throat I realised... it wasnt his class right now. I didnt have to wait long to find out who he was waiting for.

'You... yes... you'
(Ok man... you got me.)

'Why didnt you attend the first class...?'
(Ok... so thats all it was... wait... it couldnt be)

'Sir... Im not keeping well these days, *cough* *cough* (and another persisent...) *cough*'
(God, please be kind, I prayed to you only yesterday... please please... please)

'Follow me...'
(Do I even have a choice dude?)

He lead me to his office and took his throne. I was definitely in for something not so pleasant today. I didnt know why; I had a gut feeling(After all of the nonsense I've been through, you'd think I had realised, but no... its like my dad says..."Hum nahin sudhrenge"(We shall not improve...:))

'Do you smoke...?'

(is that a question?)

'Sir...'

(Should I... shouldnt I)

'Answer me...'

(improve your grammar)

'Sir, occasionally sir... but that too not within campus sir, I swear sir, you can ask anyone sir... sir? No sir...'

I was in total panic; I was reacting to every contortion of his face... somehow trying to placate him with whatever I could manage...

'How often do you drink?'

(What the....?)

'Absolutely not sir... I dont... never'

(What is he talking about...?)

'Come with me'

(Where... We actually have breathalyser apparatus?)

If this wasnt bad enough, I was lead straight into my old arch enemy, the H.O.D's office, who by now, was very much hatching a plot to take over the world... my world.

'Come in'

(Run away...)

'No... you stay out for a while, when we need you, we shall call you inside'

(Ok... FOUL: The both of us should get equal brainwashing opportunity)

The next ten minutes were spent in just trying to fathom... why booze, and why all of a sudden. And then... it struck me... it was very very clear. The green bottle was in my hand, partially masking the cigarette. He may not have seen the cigarette, but he definetely saw the bottle. That, compounded with the location that I was in.

Before we venture further, let me try and describe a schematic of the area where this incident occured. There are shops on one side of the Highway, which mainly consist of a kirana store, followed by a cigarette shop, a shop selling chicken, FOLLOWED BY 2 WINE SHOPS, and then a couple of buildings later, the STD and the mosque. 2 fucking wine shops, right where my HOD wanted them to be, right where the worst mix of circumstances could have decided to happen to me, on one fine normal evening.

'Come in'

(This better be good... be prepared to cry... be prepared to cry)

'Good morning....sir'

(I havent done anything wrong... not yesterday... strictly weekends only)

'Are you going to explain yourself' - Dr. Sahab

(Ohh man... this is not going to work... I cant tell him exactly what happened... Its just to perfect for them... deny... deny and cry... TeArs: ON)

'Sir, no sir... I dont have alchohol sir, I'm a muslim, its not allowed to us'

(They didnt look too satisfied...My professor, who evidently does not drink soft drinks in life, actually went to the extent of thinking that a Mountain dew bottle.... but I couldnt laugh just yet... status: bamboo up ass.... TeArs: ON)

'I saw you near a wine shop the other day' - My H.O.D.

(What... How the... you arent even part of the story dude...Goddamnnit... TeArs: ON... Work, work bastard )

At this point... I was too frustrated with the whole idea. They are framing me... right in front of my eyes, the whole conspiracy is being set up; I was not liking this. Not one bit. But I had absolutely no idea how I was to get out of this situation. One last shot... if this fucks up, it just does... for real: TeArs:ON

'Sir, I do not consume alchohol, for the last time, its not allowed in my religion, and as for why I was there, I was there because we had to pray for such and such a religious occasion. Yes, I am in the habit of smoking occasionally, that I admitt to; It is not a nice habit to have, and I am trying to curb it. If you still think I am lying sir, I have no other way to convince you. I do not booze'

(Yes.... Yesss I had nailed it... speeches always work... almost)

My H.O.D. spoke first - 'Fine... write an apology letter...'

I was numb with relief... I didnt even hear the rest... I already knew what he had to say. What I didnt realise that, in order to clear my name off this whole nonsensical allegation, I had proven my faculty member wrong. Bad... bad move. Like I said... everything compounded, it would never be the same again.

Dr. Sahab very quietly said 'Be warned though, we shall be watching you.'

(Not we... No we... you... you will be watching me... I know... )

'I assure you sir, I shall not fall into any sort of trouble'

(But I had a sneaky feeling... it was only a matter of time)

For once... I didnt do anything that day... but still wound up in shit. How bad can my luck get...?

But someone once famously said... What gets bad... can definetely get worse.... its only, a matter of time.

cheers,

Ajwad

Whose life is it anyway? - Part I - Phist of Gawd

I woke up early today. I dont know why. Maybe because my nostrils werent capable of taking air in. Maybe because slowly, the music going on in the background was shaking of sleep in my gradually. Maybe because finally, I was bored of sleeping that night. I dont know. All i could see was 06.17 hrs on the clock. And this was a week into my vacations.




It was one long, hateful, tiring, loathsome semester. But everyone knew that. I was legend in campus. They called me the living proof of Murphy's law( NO fUckIng CommENts...). The whole story is too long for one cohesive entry... so well... its going to take a while, and a lot of patience(Yes... mine...:p).




Part I: Fist of God.




It was my Transducers introductory course (if I dont know... you cant expect to know... get it?), and I was smiling on the way to class. This guy, my lecturer, was nicknamed 'Sandman' with all of us; he had this legendary ability to give us the good stuff. It didnt matter how awake you felt. He just had this nack of well... putting you to sleep. And I had the perfect solution. For the past few days I was carrying some paperback to class and reading away. The lecturer goes on and on. I dont have to pay attention; I dont sleep or get thrown out, and I'm quiet enough to pass off as one of those highly disciplined types(fine... at least the low profile types...(Ok... give me a break...!)). Lookinfg back at all that, all I can think of is 'Little did I know...'




So I reach class, take my usual place in the left row, right next to the window, from where I could see any and every staff member who entered the department building. What I didnt calculate was them seeing me...(Yes... thats my little did I know moment...).




So there I am... halfway through a very interesting read (I think it was a Forsyth...), and suddenly, through the corner of my eye from the left... I see something.
Its my HOD, minding his own business and entering the building... Our eyes meet...




As his gaze drifts downwards, with a practiced hand I push the novel into my bag, clutched my thumping heart and prayed for the life of me, that he didnt notice. He just walked right into the building. I was safe... I smiled.




Two minutes by the clock. The door to my lecture hall flew open, with Guess who smiling at the whole class. No one knew what was happening. No one... except me. I saw him see me. And that wasnt good because he knew I knew he knew. He walked a few paces, till he was level with me and put forth his right hand in front of me. Like I was supposed to know what to do. I did, but I tried to play the fool...




Wrong move. I was pulled by my ears to his office(Excuse me... this is college... wtf... Ear pulling?).




'Who are you?'

(Was this guy playing it cool?)


'Sir... nx6125... sir'

(What...? im not going with my roll number in print... Sod off...)


'And what exactly do you think you're doing with a novel in the classroom?'

(Smart question... who had the answer to that one... lets see... Sir I was reading...)


'No Sir... sir'

(trust me, this, I'm too scared to answer thing works... its my secret weapon; that, and begging.)


'What?, you think you're very smart?'

(Actually yes, considering you couldnt catch me with the Debonair I brought to class yesterday...:))


'...'

(Silence... scared silence... I did not know wht to do... it was turning serious)


'Unless you call your parents, I will not allow you to write your exams...'

(I had him... I allowed myself a smile. It was in my head... but I knew I had him.)


'Sir... they live in Dubai, so you'll have to dial international....'

(I made the innocent face...)


And, just like that, his hand moved away from his Cellphone wallet. Dubai was expensive to call to. And he knew. I took my chance. I got off easy. An apology letter. A promise to not do it ever again.




What followed convinced me of one thing: I was a marked man(Yes... but you dont understand, its not just college... it doesnt work that way where I study.). I understood. I prepared myself for the inevitable: It was never going to be the same again....




Yes... Ok... I still carry books to class. No ones supposed to know allright...?


cheers


Ajwad