GoT PuRPosE... ?!?!?!??

tDaYs SonG: Th3 doOrs - aMeRIcAn PrAYer.
Time: 2:00 AM.

The fan is making wierd noises. The TV is showing the rerun of a lame 'K' soap: thankfully at a low volume. The lights are down low. Im going through 'Midnights Children' by Salman Rushdie. Its phenomenal. I start reading the first line of a page, and as if on cue, my back starts scratching with a vengeance. So much, that I almost throw the book down and position my body wierdly, in order to reach the irritated area of the epidermis. As the itch dies, I pick up the book. I start thinking: Stuff generally interpreted as soul searching, and the process of self discovery. *BliNk*....*BliNk*...and a million blinks later, I decide... I need a plan.

Now since I am a student of a pretty reknowned college of engineering, I have one simple laid out plan, and other many not so simple ones. and still others that I've chosen not to consider due to a mismatch of well, raw materials, if you like, that I have to work with: for example, I have chosen not to become a Rap artist, since I do not have access to a dozen girls in various stages of undress, willing to dance around me, while I err.. sing. Another technicality, is the fact that I cannot afford the Bling-bling Diamond necklaces, diamond studs... rings on all fingers, diamond braces...(Yea... my reaction exactly... WTF?) and diamond studded cellphones... and the obvious fact that I'm not black. Sometimes I wonder... These guys have the girls, the money, the cars, the tattoos, and the guns... Why in hells name do they sing? Not for the money they dont...

To solve this problem, that is taking quite a while, by anyone's standards - I mean, who takes more than five minutes, to make the biggest decision of their lives... ridiculous.

I sought help from a - err... an acquaintance. I related to him my problem...


'Dude... I need to know... I need to know my purpose in life...'

'Ive just the thing you need!!!...'
(Funny, how everyone has the answer to that one. The world sells Nirvana in bits and pieces.)

'When I was your age...'
(At 20, he's about 8 months older...huh!?! my age was like a decade ago innit?)

'Someone told me to read this book.... this book called the Alchemist...'
(I'm doing engineering bro...)

'Its by this guy called Paulo Cohelo... it changed my life...'
(Yeah... when I first read Playboy... it changed my life too...)

So well... I took the book... reached home... and almost immediately started reading. As I read, I realised, The Alchemist is really, not about the alchemist. Fleetingly I thought of this Jeffry Archer novel, 'As the crow flies'... and pondered over possible mentions of the crow?. None that I could think of. Strange. So now, the Alchemist speaks of a certain treasure... and obviously too of a person who wishes to seek it, encountering the what nots of the journey, and the truths of life, in a rather strange fashion, to finally realise, the treasure was where he lived all his life. My take: After much hardship and torture, and a few hundred pages of reading, everything is back where it began. A classic example of inconsequential writing.

Words that my friend were ringing in my head. Listen to the book he said. After much deliberation, I realised- The solution of my problem is within myself- my mind to be exact. Darn, I thought... If I could read minds, I'd have better business than to read books, much less this one. Anyway, the first step... I know where it is... I just dont know how to get there. Evolution of a person, it says, is the key... Paulo Cohelo, it seems, has the uncanny ability to sound like a certain charachter named NEO from the MATRIX TRILOGY, though I do agree, that at times, he does also sound like another charachter from the err... much loved movie series, namely Morpheus.

'What... is the meaning of this?'

'It is but what you choose to interpret... The question is: What is interpretation?'

'What...?'

'I exist in this film, solely for the purpose of confusing the audience into reading more into the
dialogues, hence slyly dragging an overtly loose story along. Ahem. So which pill was it'

'Huh?'

"Ah... The red pill eh?. You are the one. You choose your destiny... and ours. Theyre all interconnected..."

"uh huh..."

Conspiracy Theory #1: I think the movie was a twisted version of The Alchemist... Hey... the lines are copied.

So... I half decided and then decided not to become a rapper, and read a book, that was in itself inconsequential, and was still where I started. The question now troubled me. What was my purpose in life? In order to get things into focus, I visit another acquaintance of mine(notice, I'm not mentioning names... DO NOT want to get sued.). They say, there are many ways to get to the truth. Its true ( I think); I am begining to find out.

'You need to meditate.'
(And find what... Inner peace??)

'You need to find Inner peace.'
(GoTchA!)

'All doubts that you carry are manifestations of your restless spirit.'
(What is she talking about?)

'Do you even understand what I'm talking about?'
(No...)

'So all you have to do... is close your eyes... and think of what you want to do most of all in life.'
(Boy... that would be some R rated movie..;))

So well... I took her advice... had a bath(No... not that advice)... wore my whitest white pajamas, locked my room (Yeah right I'd let anyone catch me like this), closed my eyes and began to meditate. At first, I could see nothing. Then I could see something black. Then infinite blackness. Then I entered nothingness. I felt like I was blind. ( Yeah OK... I realise now my eyes were closed.). Then I remembered I was supposed to think.

After 5 minutes: Nothing.

After 10 minutes: Its too hot, I need to switch on the Airconditioner.

After 15 minutes: I need to pee.

This was getting nowhere. Ok, so I wasnt an avid believer of searching for enlightenment, in black nothingness. It was too ironic for me to believe. I was getting nowhere, and this was frustrating me. I needed to know what my purpose was. Thus, I had no other choice. I went to the single source of everything, and anything in life. Millions sought it everyday, for any kind of enlightenment. The InTernEt...(I'm living in 2006, theres got to be a yourpurposeinlife.com!). So I google in My purpose in life.

'The words my and in are too common and were excluded from the search'
(Ok... I do not want some one elses purpose)

'Did you mean my purpose in live?'
(Life... Life... Arghhh)

So, theres a site on '201 ideas for desert using beef and bacon', and '501 different ways to make a paper plane' but there is not one page, on my purpose in life. GrEaT...

Finally, like many others, who have tried to interpret their lives, and failed, I too lay in wait of my moment. I was tired, and had no will to go on. If the answer existed, it would come to me on its own accord. Maybe understanding it would mean my purpose, fulfilled. The process of understanding it, my calling, as is everyone elses. Its already begun. I think...